Self-help and seeing your cervix

The first time I saw my own cervix was at the Chico Feminist Women’s Health Center in 1975 (now Women’s Health Specialists). A health worker in the clinic demonstrated on herself how to insert the speculum, and using a flashlight and mirror, she looked at her cervix. She beckoned me over to look too. I was enthralled with how beautiful it was, and how open she was in sharing this with me. I was next, and when I finally saw my cervix, I felt this overwhelming sense of awe, and relief, because years of mystification and shame about my body were washed away. Many years later I had a hysterectomy (removal of uterus and cervix), and always felt a little sad that I couldn’t see my cervix anymore. I was in a self-help group about two years ago, and a very dear long-time friend and collegue helped me with inserting the speculum and looking at my “cervix.” I was apprehensive, and a little sad because I thought I would see a scar where my cervix had been. To my delight, I saw a rounded almost doughnut shaped protrusion. I just kept saying: “Really? That’s it? I don’t have an ugly scar”. I burst into tears of joy and felt normal and a release of sadness that I had carried around, on some small level, about my surgery. Evidently the surgion had sort of tucked up where the cervix had been, giving me a little cervix. The power of this experience, and sharing it with the group of laughing women, was like seeing my cervix for the first time-again. I guess I’m a lucky woman to have seen her cervix for the first time two times. For readers unfamiliar with self-help, please visit this web site’s section on self-help. Make sure you click on the cervix pictures – they are informative and beautiful. Do others of you have a self-help experience that you would like to share on this blog?